


Joanna's Zoo Trip

by orphan_account



Series: CaptainEnterprise (Star Trek Youtube AU) [7]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Family Bonding, Multi, San Francisco, Spock's human, YouTube, Zoo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-10
Updated: 2017-05-10
Packaged: 2018-10-30 09:19:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10873812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Jim is a YouTuber and films his family's trip to the San Francisco Zoo.





	Joanna's Zoo Trip

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek.

Jim was wearing sunglasses and standing in front of an admissions building. “Attention Crew, this is your Captain speaking, prepare to Boldly Go” he said.

A six-clip montage took over the screen with a remixed version of Empire of Angels playing over them. Jim’ mother was attempting to put lipstick on him as he giggled in one. Spock was laid out on the sofa looking shell shocked as Joanna drew on his arm with eyeliner in the next. The next clip showed Chris Pike falling into a pool after getting hit by a beach ball. Hikaru and Jim were trying to figure out directions in the second to last clip. The final clip was of Jim falling onto a huge bed and dragging Leonard and Spock with him.

When the intro montage faded out Jim turned the camera to show a sign proclaiming them to be at the San Francisco Zoo. “We are taking Miss. Joanna to the Zoo today!” Jim proclaimed excitedly before scrunching up his face when Leonard smeared sunscreen on his face.

“Bones!” Jim shouted.

“I have to get ya when you’re not payin attention or you’ll avoid it. If I wanted to date a lobster I would have.” Leonard said while continuing to rub sunscreen onto Jim’s face.

Spock walked into frame with Joanna resting on his hip. Spock’s face was the picture of parental patience as the girl prattled on and on about penguins and kitty cats. Jim managed to duck away from Leonard but not before the other man rubbed sunscreen up his neck.

“I can’t believe the two of you just let him attack me like that!” Jim said accusingly at Joanna and Spock. Spock smirked in response and Jim would bet a raised eyebrow was hidden behind his sunglasses. Joanna on the other hand launched off on another ramble.

“Daddy Jim we have to stay safe or fun will be cut short. I don’t want you to be hurt Daddy Jim so you have to wear sunscreen or you’ll be burned like the bread was last night. Daddy can’t cook but it’s okay because he can put sunscreen on people and make them okay. So, you got to wear your sunscreen Daddy Jim. Right, Daddy Spock?” Joanna looked at Spock in question and the man startled at suddenly being address.

Having no clue what was just asked of him, Spock turned to Jim and Leonard. Leonard nodded and Jim was shaking his head no. “Right, Joanna,” Spock answered, figuring Leonard was the highest authority when it came to Joanna. Jim pouted.

The screen went blank for a moment and the scenery changed to the inside of the Zoo.

“Kitty Cats, Daddy, we have to go see the Kitty Cats!” Joanna squealed. Spock flinched away from the noise. Jim offered to trade the camera for Joanna but Spock shook his head.

Leonard was looking at the map trying to find the Big Cat exhibit. Jim was filming over his shoulder and pointed at an orangey section of the map.

“I think it would be best if we go counterclockwise around the map. It will put us near the playground and most of the food courts near lunch and then we can hit the Exploration Zone after.” Jim said.

Leonard snorted. “A five-year-old doesn’t care for your rationalizations, Jim. She wants to see the cats and the penguins. After that we can go literally anywhere else and she won’t care until she’s hungry,” Leonard said as he pointed at the map. 

“I’m thinking if we go around the lemur exhibit and back to the Cat Kingdom which is over by the penguins we can then go up into South America, Bear Country and Australia. After that we can go here between the Cats and the Primates and cut through the Monkey shop. Then we can hit the African Region after which we can go through the primate discovery center eat at the Lemur Café and then go to the exploration zone. Joanna will be asleep at some point so if there is anything you two wanna skip don’t be afraid to ask. All I want to see are lemurs and the otters which we will go by regardless of where we end up,” Leonard said looking up at his boyfriends.

Jim and Spock traded glances. “I want to see the Australian part and the Zebras,” Jim replied.

Spock cleared his throat. “Might I suggest taking the little puffers train around South America and Bear country. Then I wish to see Eagle island but after that I’m fine.”

Leonard nodded. “Should work. She’ll still be awake then.”

The screen went black again and the scenery changed to Penguins. Spock still had ahold of Joanna who was looking at the birds with wide-eyed amazement. Jim turned the camera away from the birds and showed Leonard messing with the otters.

“I don’t think I have ever in my life seen Bones this playful,” Jim said. “Hey Spock, I’m going to check on Bones. Try not to get glitter anywhere while I’m gone okay?”

Neither Jim nor the Camera could hear what Spock replied with but Joanna’s yell of, “Daddy Spock, that’s a bad word!” rang out clearly. Leonard turned to see what his daughter was yelling about but turned back to the otters after the words registered.

“Did you make some new friends?” Jim asked when he finally got to Leonard.

“Yes,” Leonard replied with a fake haughty tone. The otters were bobbing side to side. When one moved, the others moved with them. “It’s like they do everything together.”

Jim laughed. “Okay, Bones, whatever you say. Let’s go see the cats now. Say bye to your otters.”

Leonard shot him an unimpressed look but told the otters he’d miss them. “I want a pet otter,” Leonard said as they met Spock on the way to the cats.

“No,” Jim and Spock replied together. Spock traded Leonard, Joanna for the map. When they made it over to the Cat Exhibit Joanna ended up more fascinated by the hippo she could see over her father’s shoulder.

The screen went blank again and this time they were on the train. Leonard and Spock were nowhere to be seen.

“We split up. Jo and I are riding the train,” it was Leonard’s voice, meaning Jim was the one missing not Leonard, “while Jim and Spock check out the Eagles.”

It was clear that Leonard and Joanna could see the exhibits from the train even though the camera wasn’t able to pick up any animals as Leonard gave up on the zoom feature rather quickly.

The screen went black as the train pulled into the station and a lower quality bit was shown.

Jim was rather high up in the air to film the eagles and the reason soon became clear as to why. “Jim I don’t think sitting on my shoulders is actually giving you a better shot,” Spock complained.

Spock made a chocking noise as Jim apparently squeezed his thighs together in protest. “Shh Spock, this is great!”

Spock gave a long-suffering sigh as the screen faded to black again.

The next shot was of the cassowary. “I wanna fight it,” Jim said from where he was perched against Leonard’s back. Leonard’s prediction that Joanna would soon tire out seemed to be wrong as the little girl was running around screaming while Jim looked like he could gladly sleep for three years.

Spock was apparently filming now as he was the only one not in the frame. Leonard put his hand against Jim’s forehead before moving him over to a bench. He handed Jim a bottle of water and pulled out the sunscreen. Jim groaned at the sight.

“Jim,” Leonard said seriously, “You are showing signs of mild heat exhaustion. You’re tired. You’re dizzy. Your face is red and you panted to whole way over here. Sit down a minute, drink all of that water and let me reapply your sunscreen.” Leonard’s pleading face made Jim feel guilty so he let Leonard take care of him.

The screen went black and a few pictures of Kangaroos flashed across the screen before it faded black again and showed Spock and Jim in front of the Koala exhibit, Joanna drooling on Jim’s neck.

“Jim’s camera died during my medical assistance and Joanna fell asleep waiting for Jim. Jim didn’t know the camera was dead until now so you guys missed the Kangaroos. Sorry,” Leonard said as he zoomed in on a Koala that fell out of its tree. “These creatures are the number one sign that Evolution doesn’t always work in an animal’s favor. They are cute but stupid, kind of like Jim.”

Jim turned around to look at Leonard with narrowed eyes before smiling and saying sweetly, “Fuck you, Bones.”

“Hey, little ears!” Leonard called.

“Are sleeping,” Jim replied as the screen faded again.

The next few clips were montages of the other animals in the African section of the zoo which quickly faded to show the Zebras.

Jim seemed to have regained his energy as he was bouncing up and down as he watched the Zebras. “I love them so much, move giraffe,” Jim said as a giraffe moved in front of the Zebra, “They are so cool looking.”

Jim eventually slid over so he could see around the giraffe. Spock, who was filming now, panned the camera to show Leonard and Joanna napping on a park bench. “Jim’s been here for the past twenty minutes and I’m not sure why the Zebras are not doing anything of interest,” Spock said as he turned the camera back to Jim who was now cooing at the animals.

The camera faded again and this time Jim wasn’t the only one making a fool of themselves.

Off camera Spock could be heard giving a long-suffering sigh as Jim, Leonard and Joanna bounced around singing “I like to move it, move it” outside the Lemur exhibit. Other children started jumping in and it was starting to form a flash mob.

“Which ones are yours?” a woman off camera asked, she sounded like she was from a Canadian border state or maybe Canada itself. “Two redheads are mine.”

A hand came into view pointing out a red-haired man jumping around with his son.

“Those three,” Spock said hesitantly pointing to Leonard, Jim and Joanna.

“Oh, which one’s your husband?” the woman asked confused.

“Um, neither, they are both my boyfriends though,” Spock said awkwardly, “The girl is Leonard’s, the brown haired one, daughter.”

“Oh!” she exclaimed, “You three are those YouTubers everyone was talking about! I’m glad to meet you. My co-worker won’t believe it. She’s in a poly relationship too and she idolizes Jim Kirk.”

Spock shifted the camera awkwardly. The woman seemed to realize she’d made him uncomfortable because she apologized for word vomiting on him.

Spock laughed. “It’s fine,” he said, “Jim’s much the same. Open mouth, insert foot seems to be the standard way for Jim to communicate.”

The woman laughed. “Have you four had lunch yet? My boys and I were about to grab some. It’ll be our treat, an apology for my abrupt behavior if you will.” she said.

“We’d love to join you for lunch, but you don’t have to pay for it. You apologized. It’s illogical to hold a grudge past that so long as it was sincere.” Spock said as the two walked over to their respective families.

The screen blanked again to show Joanna and the red-haired boy playing on the playground. Before the family, now accompanied by their new friends, went to the exploration zone. Joanna and the red headed boy weren’t too interested in the meerkats so the families went to the red panda tree house instead. The two families split up as it became clear that the boy wasn’t going in the Insect House and Joanna had no interest in seeing farm animals having grown up off and on her grandmother’s farm.

Leonard had to film inside the insect house as Jim and Spock refuse point blank to go in.

The screen faded to black again and this time Jim was in the car. He turned the camera to show Leonard driving before turning it again to show Spock sprawled across the backseat with his head in Joanna’s lap while Joanna had her head thrown back and was snoring.

“So that was Joanna’s first trip to a Zoo! Hit the like and subscribe buttons if you want to see more of this angelic demon. As always those with YouTube channels of their own who’ve been named dropped are linked in the description box. Pretty sure Spock’s the only one which, guys go check out his channel. Yes, I am shamelessly promoting my boyfriend on my channel so go watch him. I’ll see you guys later because I’ll probably post more this week than I normally do. This is your Captain, signing off.” Jim said as the screen cut to black for the last time.

**Author's Note:**

> I have felt like shit the past few days but this actually made me feel better. 
> 
> Anyway hope you enjoyed. 
> 
> If there was anything wrong with the SFZoo, I apologize as I have never been but I've been to the Atlanta Zoo so many times it's not even funny. That being said I took their map and any info on their website and mashed it with my own experiences.


End file.
